Detours and diving deeper

On trying to build a house without laying a strong foundation...

What do detours and diving have to do with laying foundations and building houses? It’s a good question! There are many good questions and not always as many good answers…

(Take #9 on starting this post… ugh!)

I’m going to keep it as simple as possible - I need to take a brief pause in posting. When I set out to visit the archives and research Sr. Madeleva’s poetry and other works, I never imagined it would happen in May. I was thrilled of course, but my husband wisely warned me that I might have a hard time not diving right in to the material… Which is exactly what has happened! LOL

Summer is always a busy time as the part-time job I do have is from home - great flexibility for family life, but also challenging as we’ve never had regular “day care” for kids and the goal has always been for me to be primarily a stay-at-home mom.

What energizes me has always been the intellectual and creative pursuits - and I humbly admit that mothering has always taken more than I ever thought I had to give. Thankfully God has known what he was doing all along in the way motherhood knocked on my doorstep. I wouldn’t change any of it, but never having had a real chance to spend time discovering myself as an individual during adulthood has had its share of challenges.

So, even as our kids are growing into new stages - at 19, 10, 9 and 8 they are still where God is asking me to put most of my energy.

I am so grateful for the appetizers God has presented me with in discovering Madeleva, renewing my engagement with poetry and even offering me the opportunity to be accepted in to a Master’s program which has been a deep desire for many, many years… Who am I to complain about not having the time for the next few months to build more of my ideas and initiatives into a business? How short-sighted is it to want time through which I can express myself and maximize my gifts to make some of mine and my husband’s dreams come true when these precious souls entrusted to us are still in a stage where we can never replace the time and treasures that will help them to be all they can be?

That said I’m not shutting this down, I just need to reallocate the bits of free time I do have into working through the Madeleva material, preparing things I can offer, etc. rather than trying to build something of a following interested in Madeleva and where she even keeps leading me - beyond her work to the bigger picture of “poetic living” and how I might be able to accompany and lead others into the realm of tapping into transcendent moments in the mundane and ordinary.

Two weeks ago I had a whole plan ready to present including some small ways to support my efforts through some subscription services… I am surrendering to his timing and trying to receive what feels like a detour as a gift to dive deeper into just what I will be able to offer and share.

I will keep you posted, and ask for your prayers for patience and continued discernment in these next weeks.

One thing I have mostly ready (besides who knows why my site thinks it’s in Spanish…) is the availability for commissioned or collaborative creations! :) I hope to have a few samples to view soon… My creative brain doesn’t go well with the amount of time technology requires… (another big reason I need to step back - some of the social media and website aspects have taken much longer than I anticipated.)

I’ll leave with a thought from Sr. Madeleva that is so encouraging, so true:

Fare infinitely well,

you who have valorously dared

This last, unshared,

Unending and all-perfect quest;

You who at length can tell

The things God has prepared

Are best,

Are best.